We all seem to over analyse everything – like we need to know everything about whatever situation we are in or whatever person we meet – but does that not spoil the surprise? To me there is something nice about not knowing the full reason for something until later on.
Like I firmly believe that people come into your life for a reason – that reason might not be obvious at first but when it is meant to reveal itself then it will. Just like things happen for a reason. Sometimes it’s obvious, sometimes not so obvious, sometimes you find out in due course and sometimes you never realise why something happened, but you can rest assured there will be a reason.
I sometimes feel that there is a plan for us – which sounds quite hippy ish but the thing is – I know how many times I have ignored my gut feeling only to have it come and bite me on the ass. I know that I have ignored health warnings and carried on and kept getting ill – there are things that are meant to happen and life seems to have a way of keeping you going around in circles until you learn the lesson that you need.
Many of us sulk when we don’t get what we want – but you should see it in a different way – if you don’t get what you want it’s probably because it is not what you need.
Life seems to work out in the end, so don’t stress, don’t sweat things so much – if you meet someone and you get on – don’t over analyse it – just go with it – what will be will be.
If something doesn’t work out the way you want it too – don’t sulk and throw a fit – just try to see the positives and take those from it and learn lessons and keep your eyes open for the things that you need, they will be out there.
You might not understand why some things work out for you and why some things don’t – or why others sometimes seem to have everything go right for them – you never really know the full story…..things might be better or worse than you think – and if you just shift the focus and emphasis of your own life you might actually see that you have more going for you than you thought.
Be good. Laugh often and treat people kindly. The right people will come into your life and the things you need will happen – other than that try to just focus on being a good all round decent human being.
So Wednesday can be a tough day – you are making a good move into the week but the weekend still feels far away; then you kick yourself for wishing your life away.
Well, I will try, I can’t promise anything but to try – to help cheer you up or give you something to think about.
I saw this on the back of a greetings card yesterday:
“Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life’s sweetest creation.”
I thought this was truly beautiful. Whatever happens in life has a reason to it. Every meeting has a purpose, even what seems like a negative one can end up bringing something positive in your life, in fact, I would say it normally does.
Everything that has happened in your life has brought you to who you are today.
And if you are not totally happy with who you are today then be grateful for tomorrow, for that gives you a chance every 24 hours to start again.
It’s never too late to change or improve the things you are not so keen on about yourself and your life. It is your life and you are in control of your own destiny. Sometimes it might not feel that way, but that will be because you still have lessons to learn or don’t yet see the full picture. Sometimes it takes a while for the picture to become clear. Some can see it quickly – some need to spend a bit more time painting it first.
This then got me to thinking about different things that have happened to me over the years that seemed hellish at the time but now – as the days and seasons pass, I can look back on those times more fondly as my memory shifts its focus to the more positive things that where also going on at that time.
I overheard someone talking about a friend who kept letting them down and it inspired this quick little story, which I wrote quickly yesterday – and which fits in with today’s topic.
As One Door Closes
When people let you down you only have yourself to blame. It’s because you put your faith and your hope in someone that wasn’t deserving; because you expected something from someone who doesn’t have the same values as yourself. In this case it was friendship.
Sally thought she knew what the word meant and she took it very seriously. Not many people in her life would be called her friend, she was choosy. Now she was wondering if she was just stupid. She had put so much faith in her choice of friends over the years and thought she had been a good friend – but now she sat around her looking at stupid social networking sites – reading all the great things other people were doing and wondering where she got it so wrong.
She had been told that you get back in life what you give out. She tried to be a good friend – she always had time to listen to her friends, to share with them their happiness and commiserate with them over their woes, she was always there to give a word of advice or encouragement. If they were sick she would try to help but what had she got back for doing that?
She had neglected herself for too long. That’s all she felt she had gotten back. At that moment in time Sally was forgetting about the good friends she did have because of these character traits. She was also forgetting that the friends that had given up on her when others had come along or when she needed them, well those friends were not really deserving of the title friend and their behaviour and actions said far more about them than it ever would about Sally. But right now she was sat down being mean to herself, staring hard at the floor trying not to cry.
Five minutes before she had felt quite happy – trying to stay positive in spite of life. She had been doing really well until she saw all the wonderful things her ‘friend’ was getting up to.
All the things her friend was doing without her.
She didn’t know what had happened – just her friends luck had risen and the importance of Sally had dropped.
It hurt her. She knew she should just move on but she found she wasn’t able to.
See, Sally really believed in the word friendship and she took things personally. Once you had Sally as a friend she was yours for life – she would defend you through anything and she would always have your back.
By dissing her friendship – by handing it back to her or neglecting it – you may as well have cut her with a knife, disfigured her, as that is how it made her feel – like some small town circus freak.
And all because of someone else’s actions.
She was forever told not to let someone else dictate her own happiness and she had always said she believed it yet here she was doing just the very thing she always said she shouldn’t do.
Oh well – she had always been better at giving advice than taking it. Why change a habit of a lifetime.
Every week her and Jenny would meet up on a Tuesday and go out to catch up on the world, see a movie, catch a new band playing, one night in the week to be silly and have fun. Now here she was, yet another Tuesday without her friend. There had been a couple of cancellations, then a few plans made that came to nothing, Jenny didn’t even bother to cancel the plans – she just wouldn’t say anything, she just wouldn’t turn up, no apologies, no rearranging things.
Eventually Sally had finally made the decision to not contact Jenny again; all the while hoping that Jenny would notice and get in touch. You know how you turn your phone off when you are in a fit with someone but keep turning it on every 30 seconds to see if they have contacted you yet? It was like that. But the phone always stayed silent and the inbox always stayed empty.
All of Sally’s insecurities came out in her – everything she didn’t like about herself, even down to the shape of her nose, became the reason why Jenny had stopped calling. Maybe she was boring? Ugly? Too poor, not connected enough…..the list would go on and on until Sally felt utterly miserable.
She would go to work and come home and hide in her room, not wanting the world to know she wasn’t going out but not understanding that she had to go out there to meet new people. She had things to do at the weekends but in the week now that Jenny was gone she felt lost.
Not knowing that she was her home, her flatmate Jessica came bursting through the door with her new boyfriend Chad. Chad was such a clichéd American Jock name and Chad really lived up to the stereotype. Sally could already hear him shouting about how manly he was and knew he would be trying to get Jessica’s clothes off in the hallway.
‘Gross’ though Sally – she had no desire to see either of them clothed right now let alone with various body parts hanging out. Oh the joys of flat sharing!
Sally waited until she finally heard the lounge door shut and crept out of the flat, careful not to make a noise, she was always scared that Chad would try to make her join in. He was so loud and so full of himself it sort of scared Sally.
Sally wasn’t sure where to go so she just let her feet lead her. She had been walking without looking up for about twenty minutes or more, she realised she’d walked through the normal stretch of shops she went to and was coming out onto a bit of road she’d never walked on before. Looking up she could see a coffee shop in the distance. She patted her pocket and sure enough she had a book on her, no surprises there. At least this way she could while away an hour or so (she was being very generous, Chad only needed about 5 minutes……) The door of the coffee shop tinkled quietly from the overhead bell as she walked in. Loud enough, only just, for the person behind the till to look up, and smile. It was at that moment Sally’s heart melted just like her favourite biscuit did in her cup of tea. She rushed through the door, pushing up her glasses on her nose and rushing to find a seat. She slid into the seat, catching her bag on the seat opposite and half strangling herself. She tried to take a seat with as much dignity as she had left, which was not very much at all. It was then she realised her skirt had ridden up and she slunk down under the table trying to discreetly pull her skirt down. Too late she realised the new love of her life was standing over her, smiling. She tried to laugh, to smile, to giggle to do anything but the mini coughing fit she was doing now.
‘Hey Alex, table 2 please…….’
So Alex was his name. He was called away to deal with another order before he could even speak to her. She hoped that there would be no one else working in that shop today and that eventually, preferably when she had her skirt sorted out – he would be back to take her order.
Alex was only half paying attention to the order he was being given. He’d seen Sally around, normally on a Tuesday night when he was out with his friends – but she was always with a girl that over played things, didn’t seem to treat people how they should be treated. He was pleased to see her out on her own. Maybe she’d seen through her fickle friend?
Alex hurried up and rushed back over to Sally, she looked up and smiled, knowing she was going bright red at the same time, she held his gaze for less than a second before finding the table cloth incredible interesting.
‘So would you like to go out on a date sometime?’ Alex asked.
‘Yes please I’d like the tea for………’ she paused, realising he hadn’t asked her for her order after all.
She looked up, mouth agape, not her best look, but he was still stood there, still smiling.
She knew then that things were going to be ok, she knew now that things do happen for a reason and the one door that slammed in her face now looked like it would be doing her a favour. A big lovely looking favour.
She managed to nod her head, giggling in her embarrassment.
‘Let’s go out Tuesday……I’ll meet you here after my shift at 7?’
Sally nodded again, mentally kicking herself for losing the power of speech.
She was interrupted by her phone going; she looked down at it, as it danced across the table.
‘Do you need to get that?’ asked Alex
Sally picked up the phone and saw that the screen said ‘Jenny.’
She placed the phone back down.
Turning to Alex she said ‘No, it’s nothing important……it can definitely wait.’ She put the phone onto silent and pushed a chair out with her foot for Alex to sit down. She had decided it was time for her to push aside her problems and get to know this boy better.