Random Ramblings

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I often wish this were true.  Friendships are so important and so vital – as you get older I think your social groups gets smaller but better, you know what you want and who you want to spend time with and I think you get less tolerant to some of the things you were prepared to put up with when you were younger.  I see many people neglect their friends and it always baffles me.  I cherish my friendships – each and every one of them – I am so grateful for these people and hope I am a good friend to them in return.  2014 is goign to be all about doing the things I love with the people I love.

 

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I recently stumbled across this quote and I think it is beautiful.  Joanne Harris wrote the book Chocolat – this is from her book the girl with no shadow, which I am yet to read but which is now in my possession.  I love the ‘….thoughts that wonder off the edge of the world.’ I am totally adopting that to explain my way of thinking.

 

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People try too hard sometimes and forget to just enjoy themselves.  I truely believe you meet people in weird and wonderful ways – the right people just come into your life – life has a funny way of working out like that and working out just what you need even before you have worked it out for yourself.  Don’t dismiss these ‘chance’ meetings – for I really don’t believe in that – I think that you meet people for a reason – that you both have something to bring to each others lives.

 

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And this is here to remind me to start writing properly again – lately I have not had the time – what with working full time and studying two courses but I am determined to manage my time even better this year.  Onwards and upwards and hopefully my award winning manuscript will get written and make me rich!

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And this is the first thing I will buy when I become rich.  OK, maybe not – this is just something I really want – I don’t need but hey!

 

Hope you are all having a really lovely 2014 so far!

Normally blogging will resume soon ;o)

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2014

Well Hello to all my readers and curious bypassers.

Happy 2014 to you all.  I hope that Christmas and New Year were wonderful affairs for you and that Santa was kind to you – and if he wasn’t then you best behave better this year ;o)

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I had a lovely time filled with friends and family.  Rather a lot of alcohol, quite a lot of food and a ridiculous amount of presents that left me feeling really humbled.  So a big shout out to all the awesome people in my life.

I never make New Year’s Resolutions because I don’t think anyone sticks to them.  I think that if you want to do something you should do it – find the motivation in yourself just because you want change, or you want to better yourself.

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2013 was quite a tough year but I try to focus on the good stuff as often as I can and everything in life helps us grow and that is the one thing as a human being you should never stop doing.

Life should be about being kind, being happy, spreading happiness, sharing, growing and experiencing new things.

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Sometimes scary things happen but this just shows you how strong you can be.  Sometimes bad things happen but this just shows you who is really there for you and it helps to teach us things about life, people and the world.

I hope 2014 is wonderful for us all.

In the meantime I am thinking about this blog for 2014.  Does anyone have suggestions for new story slots or for new daily topics? I’d be happy to hear from any of you!

 

Happy New Year

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Treat day Tuesday

Well it’s a day late and it’s just a story based around christmas and treats.

I forgot to post it up yesterday!

Forgive me ;op

‘So what treats are in store for us today?” Michelle asked looking longingly at the hot chocolate advert on tv, full of log fires, snow, candy canes, everything a christmas should be, well including lots of presents and some gorgeous man in the kitchen cooking away in just his apron.

Lucy laughed.  She knew what was going through her friends mind, she had been single for 6 months – not that long really but for Michelle this was like eternity.

She would finally have to admit that her ex boyfriend had really meant something to her after all.  Michelle pretended to have the hide of a rhino but really, Lucy knew she was easily hurt, she just hid it well, or rather hid it at the bottom of a bottle and amongst the sheets of a randoms bed.

‘I can’t promise you a tussle under the Christmas tree, if you know what I mean but I can promise you a day filled with Christmassy delight.  We’ve got the fair to go to, then there is the fireworks in the evening and right now I thought we should go and try those new gingerbread men in the bakery down the road.’ Lucy waggled her eyebrows.  Michelle had been lusting over the baker for years, but only now was she single and able to do something about it.

Lucy heard nothing from  Michelle in response and stopped tying up her laces to check her friend was still breathing.

She was.  But very frantically and sobbing and water was coming out of her eyes.  ‘Oh crap’ thought Lucy, Michelle never cried, at least not with company, not even when really drunk.

Lucy ran over to her friend and gave her a bear hug, words weren’t needed, she knew that being single at Christmas was hard.

‘I broke the heel on my new boot!’ wailed Michelle.  So much for heart felt sentiments.  This girl could be bought with anything it would seem.  The only true heartache was not being able to afford the latest Louboutins.

So if Lucy could get the Baker to serve up a pair instead of his usual cakes then she was on to something.  With 5 minutes to arrange it was never going to happen.

Michelle and Lucy sighed together – both lost in their own little worlds.

Lucy snapped out of it and threw a spare pair of boots at her friend, knowing they wouldn’t be quite refined enough but not caring – there was a day of Christmassy things to do waiting for them – getting wasted – heels were not going to stop this from happening – if needs be she’d max out her credit card (even more) and treat her friend to some more boots.  She did a quick mental calculation of how much she had already been spending  on this months pay cheque and rethought her idea….maybe a pair of slippers from Peacocks would do instead ……her new year’s resolution really was going to have to be to get another job….or give up shop….nope she wouldn’t even allow herself to finish the thought.

‘Michelle COME ON!’ she grabbed her friends arm and pulled her away as fast as possible.

They ran out into the street giggling – they had decided to get the bus into town so they could have a drink….or ten as far as Lucy was concerned.

The smell that greeted them as the bus door opened had Lucy reaching for her purse.

‘Taxi…..my treat….’ And she ran off the bus with her arm out waving down each and every car until eventually a cab appeared with its light on.

‘Step on it.’ She yelled once they were both settled in the car.

‘to the shops…..’ she finished, not quite informatively.

The driver rolled his eyes and pulled away from the kurb.

In town they ran about from store to store, cooing and oooing over everything they could find, they stuck their hands in fake snow and pretended to lick the ice sculpture in the department store, with Michelle very nearly getting attached.

They ogled any man with a whiff of expense about him and finally collapsed with a hot chocolate and candy cane.

‘Who needs men when you have your friend, your ex’s store card and hot chocolate!’ without breaking her stride she then purred ‘Well hello!’

Lucy threw her head round and laughed.

She saw her friend flick her hair, adjust her bra all with a quick snap and the most dazzling smile came from her face, a beam of light encircling the said man who turned as though he could feel the beam.

Without saying anything Michelle pouted slightly and looked coyly down at the table.

Lucy had to give it to her friend – she could flirt like no other.

He smiled at the girl at the table – then noticed her friend.  He hesitated.  In that moment of hesitation something unsaid went between the two girls and the one with the dark hair stood up, laughing, grabbed at something on the table and ran.

Lucy had the store card and Michelle could have the man.

Both would be treated nicely.

Lucy pulled out her phone ‘Meet you back at my house at 9pm tonight for all the gossip.  Bring goodies – we will have lots to talk about.xx’

She got a text back 10 minutes later ‘see you tomorrow kiddo. When we will have even more to talk about….so far 9 out of 10.  Don’t wait up ;o)’

Lucy laughed.  She was just wondering what to do with herself when she spotted Mike – her loyal and lovely boyfriend.  In his hands he had a square box covered in shiny red paper.

‘For you my dear, a little pre Christmas treat’.  Lucy giggled, she looked at Mike, she thought about Michelle.  She leant forward and whispered in Mike’s ear.  His eyebrows went up, his smile broadened.  ‘Your wish is my command.’ He muttered taking Lucy’s hand and quickly hailing a cab and asking him to head to their home, promptly. It looked  like they were all going to be treated tonight.

Words of Wisdom Wednesday is all about friendship

There is always a first meeting, a first glance, a first word.  We are all strangers at one point or another.  Even the couple that seem to be having the biggest love affair in the history of mankind were strangers once.

When you don’t know someone they can be anything.  You might get lucky in what is quite an uncommunicative world and you will get to say something to them.  You might find they have something to say back to you and over time you start to have little conversations.

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You make each other laugh.  You get on, you get each other.

And that’s all that matters really.  Nothing else needs to be analysed.  If you get on and make each other laugh then that in time will grow from acquaintance to friendship.

And now isn’t that something that is underrated in this day and age.  A true and proper friendship – built the old fashioned way.  There is nothing more valuable on the face of this earth than a friend.  Friendship is where everything begins. 

With true friendship you have someone to turn to, someone to give you support.  It gives you someone to be a shoulder too and there is nothing quite like being wanted.

You get to know each other in ways that outsiders just don’t stand a chance.  Just a quick look can have you both laughing without being able to explain to others why.

When you respond that all is fine – only they will know if this is really the case, they will understand the importance of a ‘Nothing’ reply.

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They might not know your favourite colour but they will know what colours work best on you and they won’t be afraid to tell you so.  They will handle your strops and your down times but they won’t let you wallow and you will no longer need to.  For having a friend means you never have to be alone again.  You will have someone there, even when you don’t see them.  You will sense them, feel their support.  You will have things happen when you are on your own that you will rush to tell them about.

Other relationships come and go in life but a friendship built up over time with the right ingredients will stand the test of time and will never reach its sell by date.

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You should never under value this.

People come into your life for a reason.

Sometimes it is for you to teach them something and sometimes it is for them to teach you.  Sometimes they are here for 5 minutes, sometimes they are here for the rest of your days.  Either way never make the mistake of thinking that your paths have just crossed.  There is a reason.

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Some people you are not meant to be friends with but you will know that very early on.  They won’t make you laugh – they will make you feel nervous.

If someone makes you laugh – you have to treasure them as though they were gold or some precious stone.  They are worth more than all the money in the world.

If you in turn can make this persons face light up then you have done one of the greatest things a human can do.  Shared laughter (when real) is one of the most intimate things a human can do – think about it – when it’s proper uncontrollable laughter aren’t you totally vulnerable but you feel comfortable with who you are with so you don’t even think about that.

It’s like the first day of summer when you finally feel the suns rays reach out and wrap all around you and gently kiss your face.

Today’s world doesn’t always value friendship enough – it’s been blended down to mean just a figure on a social media site.  But some of us still remember the true meaning of the word.

Some of us know the beauty that is friendship and we will nurture it forever.

The joke is that once you have me in your life you never be alone again.

I let in few people but when I do I am there.  Always.

You should never underestimate such a promise.

I don’t lie easily. I say some bad things about myself but I do know I am a good friend.  If I refer to you as a friend then you should treat that as though I gave you my very best crown.  One you should wear with pride, as I will be proud to see you in it.

And that’s what friendship should be.

A shared rejoicing.  You don’t always have to look your best or feel your best, they take the rough with the smooth and that is like the best comfort blanket you will never be able to buy anywhere.

It’s just the way it is.

We all seem to over analyse everything – like we need to know everything about whatever situation we are in or whatever person we meet – but does that not spoil the surprise? To me there is something nice about not knowing the full reason for something until later on.

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Like I firmly believe that people come into your life for a reason – that reason might not be obvious at first but when it is meant to reveal itself then it will.  Just like things happen for a reason.  Sometimes it’s obvious, sometimes not so obvious, sometimes you find out in due course and sometimes you never realise why something happened, but you can rest assured there will be a reason.

I sometimes feel that there is a plan for us – which sounds quite hippy ish but the thing is – I know how many times I have ignored my gut feeling only to have it come and bite me on the ass.  I know that I have ignored health warnings and carried on and kept getting ill – there are things that are meant to happen and life seems to have a way of keeping you going around in circles until you learn the lesson that you need.

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Many of us sulk when we don’t get what we want – but you should see it in a different way – if you don’t get what you want it’s probably because it is not what you need.

Life seems to work out in the end, so don’t stress, don’t sweat things so much – if you meet someone and you get on – don’t over analyse it – just go with it – what will be will be.

If something doesn’t work out the way you want it too – don’t sulk and throw a fit – just try to see the positives and take those from it and learn lessons and keep your eyes open for the things that you need, they will be out there.

You might not understand why some things work out for you and why some things don’t – or why others sometimes seem to have everything go right for them – you never really know the full story…..things might be better or worse than you think – and if you just shift the focus and emphasis of your own life you might actually see that you have more going for you than you thought.

Be good. Laugh often and treat people kindly.  The right people will come into your life and the things you need will happen – other than that try to just focus on being a good all round decent human being.

Tuesday is for treats

And if you live in London get yourself to Udderlicious in Islington.

Lovely fresh healthy ice cream – (well natural ingredients in nearly all the ice cream so that’s healthy enough for me).  And there is a swing inside the shop.

It’s lovely! And a perfect little treat whilst out with friends.

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I had a fabulous weekend of being girly with my bestie.

And putting up the Christmas tree on 1st December seemed like a must – so I treated myself to a few new decorations.  Wondering around Christmas shops this early is actually really nice – everything is sparkly and fairy lights are everywhere and people are not in too large a quantity so thumbs up all round!!

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And if you are on a tiny budget – you can still treat yourself to something cute and magical.

Fairy wand ice cubes – £3 from Tiger.

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Inspired by the picture

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‘Have you got the blanket Josie?’

‘Dur what do you think this is wrapped around my body!’

‘Well……I thought it was your usual weirdo dress sense!’

‘My hands are full but I can still get a kick to your shins you know!’

The girls giggled.

They had this way with them.  They could whine and moan at each other and pull each others legs like nothing else but it was always done with love, they didn’t care if no one else realised this – they knew and that was all that mattered.

It was all that had mattered until Jason had come along.  Penny had become smitten.  She wouldn’t even dare talk to him – boys were still sort of stinky but Penny would swoon and find any excuse to talk about him but would not admit to liking him and frankly Josie had, had enough.  Boys smelt funny and played stupid games, Josie thought they just got in the way and liked the life she had, there was no room for anyone else in her and Penny time.

The girls had been friends since Kindergarten and were now 11 years old.  They had racked up 8 years of friendship, by each others side as often as possible.  Josie had been there for Penny when her Dad had left home when she was 6 and Penny had been there for Josie when Frodo, her pet rabbit, and other best friend had died 3 years ago.

It was now a glorious Spring day.  The grass was dry and was slightly warm to the touch, the clouds were about but not so much that the sun wasn’t out most of the time.  They’d made a big jug of pink lemonade and had spread out some old blankets on the ground.  In their little pear tree they hung the sheet that Josie unravelled from her body around a tree and used old clothes pegs to secure it in place.  Penny fanned out the sheet to give them not just shelter from the sun but so they could shut out as much of the world as possible.  They had books to read and things to gossip about.  There was no time for interruption.

Penny laid down a little lantern, although it was far from dark she felt comfort from the warm candle glow.  She lit it carefully and moved it out of the way of Josie’s swinging feet.  They favoured lying on their stomachs and reading looking down but Josie always swung her feet about and had twice recently brought the whole canopy crashing down on their heads.  Penny nudged her friend to be careful and gave her best Miss Trunchbull look.

They giggled and gossiped the day away, pausing to watch some birds play – they went indoors only for sandwiches and toilet breaks.  Penny’s Mom left them to it – she almost felt envious of what they had – she would love to spend the day hiding in her little blanket fort with her best friend.  She sighed, smiled and carried on doing the drying up.

Harry, the next door neighbour peeped over the garden fence. He watched with caution.  He was in love with Josie.  She didn’t even know he existed.  Other than to call him a little rat.  You will learn why.

As the afternoon wore on and the girls got engrossed in telling each other stories, Harry tiptoed through his house and out through the side gate.  He padded barefoot across the tiny bit of gravel that took him round to Penny’s driveway.  He crept along the side of the house and waited.  Seeing the girls deep in conversation he quickly made his move.

Josie was the first to scream and jump to her feet, dripping wet.  Harry had filled his Mother’s washing up bowl with cold water and thrown it over the girls.

‘You dirty little rat, just you wait until I catch up…….’ And she tore off round the garden chasing Harry calling him every name under the sun.

Penny sat still, looking at her arms that were soaking wet, she watched them go from red to white and then little goosebumps appeared.

She then froze.  Jason was stood at the end of the driveway, staring at the scene in front of him.

There was Harry and Josie running around the garden screaming like little children, covered in water.

And there was Penny sat there also covered in water, half drowned by Harry, she knew it had hit her hair making it hang limp and greasy around her head.  She quickly jumped up and grabbed her sun hat, threw it on her head and in her desperation to get away from what she now considered a childish scene she headed straight over towards Jason before her nerves could get the better of her.

‘Hi’ she said breathing hard.

‘Hey’ Jason nodded back at her.  Penny blushed even harder than she already was thinking to herself that he was just so grown up and cool.

She saw Jason flick a look over to Harry and Josie and frown.

‘Oh haha um they aren’t with me, um, I’m…..they’re not my friends I, um……I’ve come over to see um yeah…….’

She felt hands push in her back…hard!

‘Not my friend?’ she could hear Josie’s voice – her voice reedy thin from being said through gritted teeth.

Penny turned, her eyes half shut in fear.

‘NOT YOUR FRIEND?’ Josie’s voice was getting dangerously high and verrrrry loud.

‘I um…..I….’ Penny stuttered in panic, her eyes darting from Josie to Jason and back again. She gulped.  There was no denying it – everyone had heard – she had denied knowledge of her closest friend because she was embarrassed by her.  The thought made Penny sick.  It so wasn’t true – she was just wanting Jason to think that she was grown up and not immature.  Penny struggled to think of something to say.

Josie filled the silence.  Her look to Penny spoke a thousand words, words full of hurt, out of her mouth came ‘I’m going.  You, Penny, well you can just go to hell…..do not call me later, and as for walking to school together tomorrow, go make friends with your shadow!’

She gave one last withering look at Penny and walked away.  Penny’s heart sank.  She looked up to speak to Jason and saw him looking at her coldly, he turned his head to watch the retreating figure of Josie go down the driveway.

‘Hey Josie…..wait up….’

And with those 4 words the rest of Penny’s world came crashing down around her.  Josie was gone, Jason was gone……….but not only that…..they were gone……together.

Penny’s mom was stood on the doorstep.

‘Go in…………in fact………go to your room….take a look at all the picture in there of you and Josie………..take a look at all the things she has given you……….and you have a good long think about what you have just done……….then I suggest you go to bed and pray that tomorrow you haven’t just let a man…hmmm….BOY….. come between you and your best friend………….did you learn nothing from my life!’

The morals are clear to see.

Never undervalue a friendship.

Words of wisdom Wednesday

I am guessing I am one of the few people on the planet to only just get into the whole Breaking Bad thing? I didn’t like all the fuss and hype around it so avoided it – anything so super appealable to the masses normally doesn’t do it for me…..but this really is – it’s awesome – and it’s drawing to a close too fast – what do I watch after this – it has set the bar SO high! I am still quite shocked that such a show was picked up by so many – it is gritty and so well done….so my words of wisdom for you today is to make sure you watch it! And get this it’s pretty much all on Netflix now and you can get a month’s free subscription so you know…….you can watch it for free! That’s beyond awesome.  I found this out after I had bought the box set but to be honest, I think there are so many twists and turns in this show I will be watching it again…..and again!  Buy it.  Watch it.  Fall in love with it.

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I was thinking about some of the morals in the show and how much people will (or won’t) do for family and friends.  I think most people would do anything for family and friends – there is an inbuilt thing isn’t there – you can diss your family but if anyone else does wooooo, don’t go there!  But it’s true isn’t it –you’d lay your life on the line for the people that you love.  And it made me think about would I do what this guy has done? The answer is probably not as I would never know those types of people anyway – but then it made me think – well hold on one moment you would never think a guy like him would be doing what he is doing as you have a stereotypical image of your head and I know this is just a show but there is truth in that – you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

I’ve said on numerous occasions that you should never judge a book by its cover.  That you should never give someone a hard time when you don’t really know what they are going through and the reverse is true as well – don’t trust someone completely just because they look ok.

I actually have this trust thing where I think you should never trust anyone 100%, not even yourself as we are all only human after all.

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How much would it cost for you to do something that you always swore you would never do?
It’s an interesting question and one you could never answer until you were in that situation and it depends what was going on in your life at the time…..so truthfully you could only answer that on a day by day level.  What would you be prepared to do to make sure your family and friends were ok?

Your head will start to go to weird places if you have any sort of imagination like mine and the honest answer is this…..I really don’t know!  I hope I never have to find out.

I will always say though that I will do whatever is in my power to protect my friends and family – I don’t let many people in but the people I do let in I am fiercely protective over.  Once you have an Ali in your life she never really goes – I have warned you so don’t blame me ;op

But where is the wisdom in this?
Well the wise know that you don’t knee jerk.  That you assess each individual and each situation as it presents itself.  If you hear someone say that such and such is an ass, don’t just start treating that person as though they are an ass, find out what they are like for yourselves.  If you hear that someone is a loser, well maybe they are just a little different and that could turn out to be a really awesome thing.  Misunderstood by the masses is a plus not a minus against someone’s character in my book.

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So the words of wisdom are this, don’t be so quick to judge others, don’t be too quick to judge yourself, don’t put people in boxes and don’t limit yourself.

Have ambitions, have dreams, have hopes, don’t pin too much on any one thing, be free enough to bend and roll and go with the flow.  Live life fully and safely and be kind.

Be kind.

It’s the best two words to live by!

I’m baaack!

So….I took a week out of the blog world and this is what I have been doing:

I went to a Social Anxiety CBT Group.  For me I learnt absolutely nothing but I am almost two years into studying a CBT course to become a practitioner (I don’t know whether I will actually do that – it’s just something I was interested in, but the older I get the more I want to see less of people, so I am thinking it will help with my fiction writing and am contemplating studying animal psychology instead…..but that’s another blog post I am sure).  It was good for me to go to a strange place, to be with a group of people I didn’t know and to actually be able to speak out.  But that’s the thing – my SA isn’t about meeting people for the first time – the first time doesn’t really worry me – it’s all the times after that……I am guessing it’s because then I worry more about being judged.  Anyway – I went – I conquered and came out with a worksheet.  And now I wait and wait and wait for the counselling to begin!

I went to a big firework display.  This was a bit of a tricky one for me as it was held at Alexandra Palace, a place I swore I would give no more money too due to the hair thief incident last year at the Vans Warped Tour.  They had huge issues with over crowding and not planning rooms properly and what do you know – the firework ‘Back with a Bang’ after 4 years of being away and changing from being a free event to a paid for ticket holders only event – well – yeah there were huge issues with overcrowding.  Your ticket was for a beer festival, a fun fair and the fireworks.  Well they put the fun fair in a place that had restrictions to how many people could go and there was no free flowing movement around the fair – so yeah most people never got to go anywhere near the fair.  The same happened with the beer festival – it became over crowded really early and no one could get in….not only that – they ran out of nearly all the beer!!! So yeah – that left the fireworks.  They were good, they were fireworks, they sparkle of course I am going to like them.  But, were they better than the free events they used to do? Not at all.  The crescendo of the display used to be amazing – this year it sort of happened and people only knew it was over because the gap between fireworks got longer and longer…..and longer…..until one lone little firework went off and people started to trudge through the mud to make their way home.

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I stopped off at my friends house and found something strange had happened to her cat.

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I did lots of studying for my CBT course and also my proof reading and editing course.

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I make an awesome collage for my friend who requested I wrote a verse for her to put into her library and she wanted to put it in a frame – so this is what I did:

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I started watching Breaking Bad and good grief – it is awesome – I am only on season 2 so no spoilers people!

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I found all these fantastical unicorn goodies and want them ALL for Christmas please Mr Santa.

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I have cooked 4 meals from scratch.  You may think nothing of this – but I do not cook! So this has been quite a monumental thing for me.  I hope I keep it up – but boy, working full time, studying two courses, watching breaking bad and trying to be fabulous takes up a lot of my time!

And I’ve been reading lots of Sarra Manning – lovely escapism reading – if you’ve not read anything by her then……bigger fool you ;op

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I hope you have all been well and didn’t miss me too much.

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Throwback Thursday/Snow White

So here is a picture of me and my friend Adrian – back in the days when I was out all hours, every hour if possible.  I’d leave a shower of glitter behind me, I kid you not, it was a standing joke that there was a circle of glitter around my desk at work.  I burned the candle at both ends and in the middle and every which way I could.

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I would go out dancing as often as possible and Friday nights especially would be where I would dance away any stresses or tensions of the week and live again.

Last week I went out dancing for the first time in way too long and I haven’t felt so free and alive in a long time.

This time I did it without smoking though as I have long since (thankfully) kicked that habit to the curb.