‘I’m not good enough’
‘Why can’t I be more like them?’
‘If I was just taller/shorter/fatter/thinner/prettier….’
Do any of those sentences sound familiar?
I am sure most of you will be nodding your head, no matter if you are young or old, male or female.
There are so many stories about teens feeling this way but I’ll let you into a secret, many adults feel this way too. I think many people feel lost or at least have times of doubt that leave them struggling for some time, I think the only difference is that some of us fake it better than others.
I sometimes think that those of us that fake it the best are the ones struggling the most.
Just like the child that makes it so hard to love them is the child that needs love the most.
It’s not rocket science. Humans aren’t that complex. At the end of the day all any of us want is some peace and love and happiness in our lives.
Of course what you think would make you happy isn’t always the same and it isn’t always right.
The things you think you want in life may very well be the last thing you need. And life has a funny way of making your path twist and turn until you end up with what you need. Of course you might not always realise this and you may see yourself as a failure because you didn’t get the things you want……and that’s just it – I really do believe that life plays a massive hand at making sure you get what you need and there is a massive difference.
I know that opens up a whole world of things about fate and your life already being mapped out and I am happy to discuss that at any point and will no doubt venture there in future posts but for today let’s just focus on that old saying:
‘Be careful what you wish for.’
Do you really want to be someone else? Don’t you just really want to be a better version of yourself?
People that have a hard time in school quite often end up making the far more interesting adults.
If you follow the crowd you won’t go very far but the individual who is prepared to branch out and be themselves will travel far more interesting roads.
Don’t be afraid of who you are, embrace your quirks and your little differences, these are the things that can make you doubt yourself but really these are the things that make you – these are the things that make you who you are. If we were all meant to be the same I am sure we would come with barcodes and would be robots.
We aren’t robots – no matter how much the media and the state try to push you towards that way of being – we are not and never will be.
So embrace you. If someone doesn’t get it then it really is their loss. Not everyone can love everyone, not everyone can be liked by everyone. That would be fake. And fake isn’t the best way to be.
People come and go in life – there are reasons for everyone stepping in and out. Some people you meet and it’s to help you through a certain time of life, or you are there to help them, some people you meet and it breaks you a little but ultimately it shows you how strong you really are as you may have cracked a bit but you didn’t shatter. Some people come into your life and they stay.
Despite what facebook makes you think – your really truly honest friendships are few. But it’s always about the quality and not the quantity of friendship.
If you have too many friends (yes there is such a thing) then you can’t give the time needed to nurture any one friendship.
To be called someone’s friend is one of the highest honours you can give someone and they should cherish it as the most precious gift. Sadly too many use this word loosely – they are frivolous with it. But be honest – how many of your ‘friends’ do you find annoying? How many of your ‘friends’ do you cheat on? Bitch about? Look down upon? You will be surprised to find how many people out there are not actually that nice to their ‘friends’.
If you find yourself with people like that – just move on – move away – life is too short to fill it with someone else’s bullshit.
I question myself daily. I cry sometimes about the state of my life. I constantly count friends. I feel lonely in the busiest of environments. I take silences personally. I blame myself for other peoples flaws.
I also know how to be there for my friends, I have time for them, I give them space, I cherish them and my true friends have me for life – whether they want me or not!
I stopped talking just for the sake of talking and talk when I feel the need – it’s amazing what you learn just through listening. And I’ll tell people this – you may see someone as quiet but honestly if they are listening they have learnt so much about you and what is going on around them.
If you are true to whom you are you will attract the right people to your life. That might be one person it might be ten – but whatever the number it is surely far better to be you than to be fake all your life!
Never judge yourself against someone else. They aren’t you and they aren’t meant to be. If being someone’s friend makes you question your own behaviour and morals then they aren’t right for you and that’s ok as there are quite a few people in the world, you will find someone that fits! And if you are alone in your room right now – don’t worry – things will change – this time is just to make you learn all about yourself.
Don’t hate on yourself – if you were really that bad you would be doing a lot to change that.
Every new day is a new start! And remember – that person you look up to or wish you could be or you feel intimidated by could well be far less confident than you – don’t judge – no one knows the other person’s story.
Be proud of who you are. Embrace life. Don’t expect to be perfect, ever, and don’t expect that to happen over night, more importantly remember that those things you see as flaws could be the very thing that makes someone else love you! It makes you human.