Truth

“You wanna know what living life to the fullest actually is? It’s waking up on a Monday morning with no complaints. It’s knowing you always deserve to laugh. It’s doing what feels right no matter what. It’s doing what you want to, no matter how stupid you look. It’s about being yourself, ‘cause no one can tell you you’re doing it wrong.”

I just saw this on Tumblr and thought it was spot on.

We all worry way too much about living up to other people’s expectations and we forget about who and what we truely are.

This year you should make it your goal to fully embrace yourself and not say sorry for who you are.

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Words of Wisdom Wednesday

We live in an age where too much is about quantity and not enough is about quality.

How much money do you earn?

What job title do you have?

How many friends do you have?

Where did you go on holiday last year?

What label is in your clothes?

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Really the questions should be this…..

Hi How are you?
Are you a nice person? (That would be an internal question to ask yourself – just so you know)

And really that is all that should matter.

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If you really want to talk about holidays, talk about what someone did – did it make them feel recharged and relaxed.

If you want to know what car they drive – ask yourself why!

What does it matter what job title you have – is your job the only thing that defines you? Isn’t your job one of the things that gives you money so you can define yourself in other ways?

Life should never be about how many friends you have – you could have 100 shit ones – or you could have one super amazing awesome one – and that would make you the far richer person – but if you just class friends on numbers…..well really doesn’t that make you the loser? I don’t mean that in an aggressive way – just if that is what you think friendship is about….how many figures it says on facebook then oh wow wee.

 

LIFE IS NOT ABOUT A FACEBOOK STATUS!

Live your life for you – not for what other people may say or think.
Don’t do or say things just to try to appear cool.

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Do you know how many people have taken to lying about their social life because of things like facebook?

Did you know that people who check their facebook really frequently are thought to become more depressed and disillusioned by their life?

If you shop to find the things you like and that fit you – then you will normally look ok or even sometimes look pretty damn good – if you only buy what is in the magazines and only buy something because it will be cool to tell someone that the label rubbing the back of your neck says Dior instead of New Look – well there are so many things I have to say to you and none of them will be that positiv 

We all need to start being kinder to ourselves – kinder to each other – we need to stop living life like it’s a competition.  We need to stop focusing on money so much.

There’s this guy – he was ‘doing what he was meant to’ high flying job, earning lots of money, loads of people to go to parties with but get this – he was not happy! So he took a year out – gave it all up, including money.  He said he’s never been happier and never had so many friends.

Go figure – could it possibly be that the whole money thing is to keep us down, to keep us controlled, to keep us never feeling good enough – there is always something more to buy – and own and get and compete for and with and then BAM before we know it – we are controlled by the corporate wheel of greed and jealousy that fuels the marketing world – that fuels the banking world that fuels the banks and empties our pockets.

And who is behind all this getting super duper rich and laughing at the world – one or two big families.  So the point of it all is what?

Surely the point of it all is to live a happy and contented life.  To be kind to your friends and family and if you choose to have children to bring them up to be kind and to provide a safe world for them.

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I heard something hideous last week…..’I don’t care what damage it does to the earth in the future – I am here now and it’s making me rich!’

Well what a gosh darn twat he is!

Two things people, two things:

WE ARE LOANED THIS EARTH – WE DON’T OWN IT – WE ARE BORROWING IT TEMPORARILY FROM THE NEXT GENERATION…..those would be your children, your nephews and nieces, they would be our future.

 TAKE ONLY WHAT YOU NEED.

 Humans made a mistake the minute they thought they weren’t part of nature, that they weren’t part of the wheel of life.

The earth provides for everything and everyone and it’s an intricate web, a sophisticated wheel, it all works if we all work together in harmony and eliminate greed as much as possible.  IF WE TAKE ONLY WHAT WE NEED….think about that today – as you go shopping – as you use people emotionally or give to them emotionally – whatever you are doing today – take only what you need no more and no less.

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These are the things that are important to me.

I don’t care where you work or how much you earn, I care about whether you are kind, whether you are funny, whether you can be smart, whether you are free…………………….

 Next time someone asks you what you do – please tell them about how you live your life and not what you do for your 9 to 5.  Take that competition out of it.  Take that preconceived judgement out of it.

“What do you do Alison?”
“Oh me, I like to spend time with my loved ones, and laugh and see the world, like properly see the world and when I am not doing that….well I am always doing that – I also like to study and write and sing when I think no one is listening.  I try to live my life by treading as lightly as possible and keeping the good ones close to me.”

Wisdom for Wednesday/Words of wisdom Wednesday

My moods are so…well for want of a better word…..interesting.  They really are.  Up and down like a bloomin’ yo yo but not in a ‘I need to be sectioned way’ just really, well, maybe I am just ultra aware of my emotions or I loose myself in my head far too often.  I think it’s the latter.  And I think this is why I have chosen to never live alone.  As much as the years I’ve lived have allowed me to start feeling more comfortable with spending some time alone, in fact, I will now say I actually look forward to the odd night alone, it never used to be that way.  Growing up my family or a friend would always be around.  When I moved out of home I always had somewhere I could go, someone I could talk to.  When I moved back home and found things a bit of a bore in my neighbourhood, I dipped into the fanzine world and created my own place, it was a place where there were always people, always gigs, there was always something going on.  I moved to London and there was always something to do, somewhere to go.  If I ended up in the flat alone I would just turn around and head straight back out and find someone again.  I don’t think that’s particularly healthy and it got me known as the girl who never slept.

I am older now – it’s arguable as to whether I am wiser, but I would hope so.  I am certainly a lot calmer.

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I need peace and quiet sometimes.  I am trying to simplify life a little and just appreciate being.  It’s not easy when you are in London, or just in the modern world, with so many distractions and so many expectations.  I try to take some time to enjoy my surroundings and the sounds of nature and to be grateful for the ‘little things’.  I think it’s those little things that can help to keep you sane.

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It’s healthy to be able to be alone.  You come into the world and you leave it in that way.  As you get older I suppose such things you have to face more frequently; people leaving more often than they arrive.

I feel like I have taken a long time to find myself.  Along the way people come and go and some stick around.  Some you have to ask to leave and some leave when you are not sure if you want them too.  It can be surprising who sticks around.  As you get older making friends becomes harder – it’s a shame as the more you talk to people the more they are open to meeting new people but just lose the knowledge of how.

Just like dating.  After a certain age people seem to find it far harder; which is weird as lets be fair very few lasting relationships are made whilst pissed up in a club somewhere.

As we get older we appear less carefree, we have more commitments, and we have more things going on that ‘need’ to be done rather than things we may ‘want’ to get done.

We slowly start to exist rather than live.  We get bogged down by life.  We forget its purpose.

I guess it’s because we lose the ability to just go with the flow; to not think about the ’What if’.

When we were little we didn’t even understand the concept of repercussions!

How much more do you think you would do in life if you didn’t ‘What if’?

I think I’d owe my bank manager a lot haha I think I’d be jetting off all over the place; poking my nose into everything.

I don’t because I know I have to be on the ball for my job.  I have to pay my rent. I have to look after my health and yadda, yadda but ooo just think if you didn’t have to worry about a thing!

Maybe for a month….if you never had to worry about anything I think that makes you into a spoilt brat – or at least come across that way.

What would you do if you had 24 hours where you didn’t have to worry about consequences?

A lady I know has done an amazing thing – she gave herself a year to cross off as many items on her geek list as possible….Her ‘Big Geek Adventure’.  Read more here:

https://en-gb.facebook.com/MyBigGeekAdventure

I am SO tempted to do something similar – I’ve always had a living bucket list in the back of my mind and I think I should do something about it.

Watch this space – I need to think more on this one – and that can sometimes be a slow process but if I do take this further I will definitely be calling on all you lovely bloggers for help and hints.

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In the meantime try to recapture that lovely way of thinking in your youth – it doesn’t mean you have to be irresponsible, or mean or do bad things or try to something naughty to see if you can get away with it – it’s just see beyond your immediate surroundings, take in all the sights and sounds, try to see as much as you can.  Look at the world as though you are trying to find the perfect snapshot to take.  Keep living, breath properly.   Don’t just exist and stagnate somewhere.  Life is a beautiful gift and we should honour and respect that.  We should remember we are all made up of stars and that we should allow ourselves some time to shine.  It doesn’t matter what you have going on in your life or what you have in your bank account there is always something you can do to put some cheer into your lives and others. 

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Focus on what you have instead of what you haven’t.  Try to see the good in people rather than the bad.  If people are bitching about someone – try to be the one to say something positive or to walk away.  There is enough negative energy in the world without adding to it. If you have to bitch about people to fit in why would you want to fit in with such crowds anyway?  Find the simple pleasures in life again and do away with being trapped in the materialistic visions pushed upon us.  Does it really make you feel better in the long term to have spent two months wages on the latest designer coat? Or do you think you would get more out of doing something for charity – making a stranger smile and spending quality time with good friends?  Stop being so busy to live life and properly start living again.

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The modern world is set up to make us buy, buy, buy.  To exhaust us.  To make us feel like underdogs always wanting more.  It’s the way people get rich….in money terms anyway.  Make a point of trying to enrich your life and others with feelings and emotions instead of trinkets and goodies…..unless it’s cake – I am sure there is room for cake in anyone’s life.

Just free yourself from the trappings of modern life.

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Take your shoes off and run barefoot through a field or along the beach.  Spend an hour watching the waves crash against the beach and watch the beauty of nature.  Smile at a child who is so enthusiastic to go the corner store they are skipping saving the world dressed as Spiderman.  Lose yourself in a book for a while and don’t worry about the washing up.  Forget the house work and go and meet that friend for coffee.  Stop worrying about ‘things’.

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Be the reason someone smiles when they look back upon the day.  Don’t get angry when someone steps into your path, smile at the stranger who is frowning, and wish someone a happy day.  Drop a penny on the floor and let a child pick it up thinking their luck is in.  Share your joy and not just your gripes.  Take a look at your boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend and insist on only seeing their good points for the day. 

Live life again, live for today and live it with a smile on your face.  Take the time to notice the small things – it’s those things that build up into making you have the perfect day.

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Wednesday (Adams)

‘I’m not good enough’

‘Why can’t I be more like them?’

‘If I was just taller/shorter/fatter/thinner/prettier….’

Do any of those sentences sound familiar?

I am sure most of you will be nodding your head, no matter if you are young or old, male or female.

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There are so many stories about teens feeling this way but I’ll let you into a secret, many adults feel this way too.  I think many people feel lost or at least have times of doubt that leave them struggling for some time, I think the only difference is that some of us fake it better than others.

I sometimes think that those of us that fake it the best are the ones struggling the most.

Just like the child that makes it so hard to love them is the child that needs love the most.

It’s not rocket science.  Humans aren’t that complex.  At the end of the day all any of us want is some peace and love and happiness in our lives.

Of course what you think would make you happy isn’t always the same and it isn’t always right.

The things you think you want in life may very well be the last thing you need.  And life has a funny way of making your path twist and turn until you end up with what you need.  Of course you might not always realise this and you may see yourself as a failure because you didn’t get the things you want……and that’s just it – I really do believe that life plays a massive hand at making sure you get what you need and there is a massive difference.

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I know that opens up a whole world of things about fate and your life already being mapped out and I am happy to discuss that at any point and will no doubt venture there in future posts but for today let’s just focus on that old saying:

‘Be careful what you wish for.’

Do you really want to be someone else? Don’t you just really want to be a better version of yourself?

People that have a hard time in school quite often end up making the far more interesting adults.

If you follow the crowd you won’t go very far but the individual who is prepared to branch out and be themselves will travel far more interesting roads.

Don’t be afraid of who you are, embrace your quirks and your little differences, these are the things that can make you doubt yourself but really these are the things that make you – these are the things that make you who you are.  If we were all meant to be the same I am sure we would come with barcodes and would be robots.

We aren’t robots – no matter how much the media and the state try to push you towards that way of being – we are not and never will be.

So embrace you.  If someone doesn’t get it then it really is their loss.  Not everyone can love everyone, not everyone can be liked by everyone.  That would be fake.  And fake isn’t the best way to be.

People come and go in life – there are reasons for everyone stepping in and out.  Some people you meet and it’s to help you through a certain time of life, or you are there to help them, some people you meet and it breaks you a little but ultimately it shows you how strong you really are as you may have cracked a bit but you didn’t shatter.  Some people come into your life and they stay.

Despite what facebook makes you think – your really truly honest friendships are few.  But it’s always about the quality and not the quantity of friendship.

If you have too many friends (yes there is such a thing) then you can’t give the time needed to nurture any one friendship.

To be called someone’s friend is one of the highest honours you can give someone and they should cherish it as the most precious gift. Sadly too many use this word loosely – they are frivolous with it.  But be honest – how many of your ‘friends’ do you find annoying? How many of your ‘friends’ do you cheat on? Bitch about? Look down upon? You will be surprised to find how many people out there are not actually that nice to their ‘friends’.

If you find yourself with people like that – just move on – move away – life is too short to fill it with someone else’s bullshit.

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I question myself daily.  I cry sometimes about the state of my life.  I constantly count friends.  I feel lonely in the busiest of environments.  I take silences personally.  I blame myself for other peoples flaws.

BUT

I also know how to be there for my friends, I have time for them, I give them space, I cherish them and my true friends have me for life – whether they want me or not!

I stopped talking just for the sake of talking and talk when I feel the need – it’s amazing what you learn just through listening.  And I’ll tell people this – you may see someone as quiet but honestly if they are listening they have learnt so much about you and what is going on around them.

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If you are true to whom you are you will attract the right people to your life. That might be one person it might be ten – but whatever the number it is surely far better to be you than to be fake all your life!

Never judge yourself against someone else.  They aren’t you and they aren’t meant to be.  If being someone’s friend makes you question your own behaviour and morals then they aren’t right for you and that’s ok as there are quite a few people in the world, you will find someone that fits! And if you are alone in your room right now – don’t worry – things will change – this time is just to make you learn all about yourself.

Don’t hate on yourself – if you were really that bad you would be doing a lot to change that.

 

Every new day is a new start! And remember – that person you look up to or wish you could be or you feel intimidated by could well be far less confident than you – don’t judge – no one knows the other person’s story.

Be proud of who you are. Embrace life.  Don’t expect to be perfect, ever, and don’t expect that to happen over night, more importantly remember that those things you see as flaws could be the very thing that makes someone else love you! It makes you human.

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