Christmas

As I get older I still keep the joy of Christmas with me but it isn’t just about family anymore it is also about friends.  As I get older I think I appreciate the magic of Christmas but get saddened by the hallmark holiday over indulgent greed. It makes me think about how lonely Christmas must be for many….it makes me long for communities to still exist.   It isn’t about the presents…it’s about spreading a little love and christmas cheer. It’s about appreciating what you have and who you have in your life.  It’s about realising more than ever that family and good friends are the things that really count.

Happy christmas to you all. Let’s hope 2014 is a little bit awesome for us all.

Thank you all for supporting my little blog.

See you next year!!!

image

Throwback Thursday

More 1,000 word fiction for you – I hope you enjoy!

 

Looking back it was obvious from the start.

This was never going to work.  Which was why I wanted to do it.

Like my friend who had a baby because the timing was so wrong – it sounded stupid, ridiculous, wreck less even at the time but now – it seems like it was the best thing she has ever done.

For me – I bought a one way ticket to a city that didn’t know my name.  No one knew me name. And that is what the appeal was.  I was running away from a life I no longer wanted but one I didn’t know how to break up with properly – I mean can you even break up from your own life? It was like I had to let go of the girl that I had been forced to be my whole childhood so I could become the woman I was meant to be the woman that I knew was – the woman that had always been there but hidden from view.

I could never be myself at home because I was always shouted down – I was told no far more than I was told yes.  I think that’s why even today, my default is on the negative.  I am a positive person for life and for others but for myself I am lost – sometimes I just don’t know.

So I did what anyone does when they don’t know what to do – well you have two choices – bury your head in the sand or run away.  Yeah, yeah some would say you could just deal with it but yeah right whoever does that – they don’t even do that in the films! They run.

So I ran.

Well I sauntered in my heels to the nearest train station – with two bags packed.  And I got on the train with my one way ticket feeling really proud of myself.

I looked at my suitcases.  One was full of books and writing paper and the other was full of clothes and one pair of shoes and somewhere in there I had managed to get my hair straightener – you know – the essentials.  It suddenly seemed daft – how was I going to be able to accessorise properly with just one suitcase of clothes, I was going to have to get a job fast…..there was of course that little issue of rent and bills but hey…….

I was a country bumpkin – I think – at the risk of annoying other country folk that when you have grown up in the country it gives you a certain naivety that you don’t’ have if you grew up in the city and I seemed to have held on to that into my adulthood.  I felt about 5 years less experienced in everything than city folk of my age, hell I was still scared to get the tube and still bought a travel pass instead of a single ticket just in case I got lost.

I got to Paddington far too quickly as I was starting to panic a little bit.

I had a number to call to view two properties that were ready to be moved into straight away.

It was then I realised I had no duvet.  I was an idiot.  But hey I was in the city.

The second flat was the one I chose – the first was nicer but the owner, who lived there, was a sleaze.  I swear there were holes drilled into the bathroom wall – I was glad I had been told to look out for such things but yuk how gross!

This flat was lovely – it was airy but my room was small.  I thought it would encourage me to get to know my  flatmates more as I would be forced to hang out in the communal space and not hide in my room.  I was wrong – they were horrid – I camped out in my room.

I job searched for two weeks and thankfully found a little office job – the money was not going to roll in as such but trickle slowly to my feet.

It meant I could eat, all be it sometimes just instant noodles, but my rent was paid, I had my mobile phone and the internet and the rest I would wing until I could get a pay rise.  I was so optimistic.

I went out for lunch with some girls from work and slowly got close to one or two of them.  I met some people through them and they introduced me to more.  My wardrobe was suffering – I needed more money.

That’s when I decided to try the local bar.

It was ridiculous – I was trying to hold down two jobs – one all day and one way into the night – I was looking longingly at the sales and tried to stay awake during the day.  Twice I had been caught with my eyes shut for far too long.  I was exhausted.  My flat mates stunk….literally and I was penniless.

But I was in the city – all my dreams felt that little bit closer to coming true.

Although I was single and living in a shared house that I hated the inhabitants of I still felt happy.  I shut myself off from the rest of the world and started to write.

I had tried to get away from being the bookworm and be the party girl but I knew it was never going to work.  There was nothing wrong with being a homebody and I decided to embrace it fully.

My stereo was loud enough to block out the housemates so I pretended I was living in my own place, somewhere a little more tropical than Walthamstow.  I wrote, and wrote and I wrote some more.

I then hauled myself to all sorts of publishers and agents and bam – I got published!!! Just like that.

So you see – being in the city and taking a risk it’s all paid off.  Looking back that bad move was the best move I ever made.

And another treat – you lucky lucky people

A while ago I would do a writing test where a friend would send a picture and I would have to write 1000 words in the form of a story about it.  You know how they say a picture can speak a thousand words, the other thing with this was I was not allowed to spend any time thinking about it – that I would be sent a picture and just write whatever came out.  I like it – it’s fun.  It’s weird as when you read back through it – quite often you don’t really recall writing it – but it’s a good exercise, and I’ve started it again – so here is the first one.

This is the picture:

ImageTo add to the challenge I tried to incorporate the air of ‘Treat’ as that is the topic for todays’ blog.

So here is the story:

‘What is she doing……Ellie what is your sister doing?  Ellie? Ok then Honey, what are you trying to be little Susie, what are you doing?’

‘She’s being a panda!’ and Ellie flounced away.

She had a knack for knowing what her little sister was doing.  What she was thinking.  Or maybe she just made it up and everyone had come to believe whatever Ellie said Susie was thinking or doing or wanting.  Susie never put up any complaint so people just went along with it – anything for an easy life – never stopping once to ask a question or think about how Ellie would know.

Ellie had a theory.  It was that she had magical powers.  Her Mother had another theory – but we won’t go into that one.

Ellie had longed for a sister, she had written to Santa every year begging him for a sister.  One year she even said that she would go without any new dolls house furniture and maybe even without any new dolls as long as Santa brought her a little sister.  She didn’t ask her Mom – she didn’t even think to, she just thought if she prayed at night and was a good little girl and asked Santa nicely then she would get what she was wanting.

Thing is she knew she wasn’t always a good little girl – but she was never too bad – not like Tara from next door, she was just positively hideous.  And yet somehow, Ellie was pretty sure she still got gifts at Christmas.

Four years ago Ellie was extra especially good, at least for the run up to Christmas and she really thought that she would be able to get her wish granted, that her dream would come true.  But she saw how fat her Mommy was getting and thought that all their spare money must be being spent on pie and she knew that children cost a lot of money – she kept being told that, frequently it was said when she came home from school with another hole in her tights or her new shoes scuffed up.  She couldn’t help it.  It wasn’t her fault, but still her Mom would tell her off, yet still she’d come home all scuffed up.  She couldn’t help that she liked to climb trees.  It wasn’t her fault that she didn’t’ have a brother to help teach her how to get down again…..or to have a Dad present long enough to pick her up out of the tree and get her home safely, so you see, it really wasn’t her fault.

She looked back at Susie on the carpet and smiled.  That Christmas, the one where her mom got super fat had been the best ever.  Christmas morning came and Ellie saw lots of presents at the foot of her bed, at first she was super excited and in mid clap and dance around her bedroom she stopped and fell to the floor.  This meant she had no little sister.  Again!!

She soon forgot about it as she unwrapped her presents but as the days ticked on she started to feel sad again.  She knew that everything would be better if she had her little sister.

A week after Christmas her Dad was around more than normal and her Mom wasn’t.  She was woken in the middle of the night with her Dad saying that she had a new baby sister.  She rubbed her eyes in confusion and went back to sleep, when she woke in the morning she barely remembered her weird dream.  She went to eat breakfast and saw her Dad all ready to leave the house.

‘Hurry up Ellie, we have to get to the hospital!’

‘Why, who is hurt?’ she innocently replied.  Her Dad sighed so she went back upstairs, ignoring her breakfast and got dressed.

They got to the hospital in no time at all and there was her Mom all wrapped up in bed.  Ellie had gasped out loud for their in her Mom’s arms was another little bundle and there was no mistaking what this was.  It was everything Ellie had been dreaming of!

The reality had not been quite so good for the first few months – the baby just seemed to cry and be sick and make horrible smells and Ellie was starting to feel very pleased that she had not forgone any of her toys for this thing.  But slowly the little baby that was also known as Susie started to develop and grow and soon enough she was crawling around which was much more fun.

She ignored everyone though.  At first Ellie thought she was rude, and then she found it super funny – then the trips to the hospital started.

Susie was almost totally deaf; they didn’t think there was anything that could be done.

Ellie was confused, she didn’t really understand and would continuously; unconsciously stroke her sister’s ears, willing them to work.  Something about this action made a bond so incredibly thick between the sisters, one that no one could break, and this was when Ellie started speaking for her sister, and Susie seemed just fine with it.

Two years later, Ellie decided it would be great fun if they could have a pet.  She asked for a dog and it was a loud resounding no.  So she told the whole world that Susie wanted a panda.  If she had a panda then she would stop pretending not to hear people.

This went on for a year.  The panda never arrived, neither did a baby brother.  All that changed was her Dad was around less and less until she realised one day she hadn’t seen him for almost a year.  On that day she dressed up Susie as a Panda and called her Blossom.  She told everyone that this was what Susie wanted and Susie just sat there and chuckled.  Each time someone called her Blossom she would chuckle.  And Ellie felt that this made everything Ok in the world again.

Treat Tuesday

Oh yes am I mixing things up – music today – but it’s not Monday I hear you cry…….but it is a treat as far as I am concerned.

I love this song.

Mark’s vocals………are rather nice.

and whilst we are on this subject:

In case you haven’t noticed it is almost Christmas – and this is totally the best Christmas song ever written – and it happens to also be by Blink 182, and sung by Mark.

And if you wanted to treat yourself to something Blink shaped this is rather cute:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Creative-Blink-182-Protective-Case/dp/B00FQFRPPC/ref=sr_1_9/276-1987452-6318037?ie=UTF8&qid=1387274140&sr=8-9&keywords=mark+hoppus

And if you love pop punk and want to start a band or are starting out in a band or just want something with that sort of vibe to watch over Christmas you really should watch this, some of it is horrifying:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Riding-Vans-With-Boys-Region/dp/B0000Z80CK/ref=sr_1_15/276-1987452-6318037?ie=UTF8&qid=1387274140&sr=8-15&keywords=mark+hoppus

Keeping with the music and Christmas treat theme – if you want a christmas jumper this is surely the only one to even contemplate getting:

Image

Music Monday

I am liking the little writing missions I am giving to myself so I am going to continue for a bit longer – here is a little one about music.

I looked at the boy in the band – stood on stage with his guitar in his hand, bouncing about to his songs, moving in time with the rhythm and looking out at the crowds.

I looked at his face.  I thought he looked at mine.  My heart skipped a beat.

I looked back.  He was still looking! Or was he? Could he even see me? What if he just had the light in his eyes….maybe it was the girl next to me, or behind? I quickly turned around and looked.  It was possible.  I looked back at the stage and convinced myself he was looking at me.  I felt my stomach flip.  He lent forward with his guitar, peering into the crowd, his eyes definitely rested on my face, and he smiled.  I tried to smile back but my face felt frozen into some gormless stare.  Not my finest moment – of all the times I naturally pouted now would’ve been a good time but no I end up looking like some dumb goldfish flopping about aimlessly out of the water, out of their comfort zone.

I always think the other girl will get the guy.  If the guy seems to like me I will think it’s because he’s not really looked at me properly yet or that he remembered me different to how I really am and if we get past those two hurdles – which isn’t often these days – well then I’d just panic that they would hate who I was.  So I always think the other girl will get the guy – can never accept it might actually be me.  And here I was – way on my way into being deep rooted in adult hood having my stomach flip about whether the guy in the band looked at me.  Lame.  Lame.  Lame!

But I couldn’t help it – he was looking again – I gave a side long sneaky glance around me – everyone else was looking at the singer.  I smiled, in spite of myself and I swear he smiled back.  I felt myself flash back to a goofy, skinny thirteen year old, teeth in braces and chest only just beginning to bud.  I felt the flush of those teenage years and kicked myself.  First I impersonate a fish, now a goofy teenager, there really was no hope for me – my Mother had been right all along.

I flicked my hair back and straightened my top, I had second thoughts and pulled it down a little.  I closed my eyes and counted to 3, I opened them and gave my best smile.

He had his back turned.

‘Rarrrrr’ I accidentally let out loud, much to the surprise of the girl stood next to me, I giggled nervously and tried to think of something to say but was saved by the next song kicking in.

The boy looked at me and this time I held his gaze.  He was staring but what he was seeing I really was not sure.  I pouted, I smiled, was I trying too hard? My face fell and my eyes searched his.  Was he just in a world of his own or could he really see me? I looked around me once more and saw that no one was really paying attention.  This was stupid, I was here to listen to the band and get that live experience of the bass thumping through my very core, get my ears ringing from the drum beat and feel all the bodies surging about in time to the music – making you wonder if you will stay on your feet or get swept along with the melody.

The crowd roared as the song finished, I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.  This is why I’d never felt jealous of the girlfriends of the band before – I never wanted to watch the band from the side of stage, taken out of all the crush and the rush and the real true emotion of a live show.  Yes sometimes it got a bit rough but I was big enough to take care of myself.

I loved it down here, not when the boys got stupid and started pushing each other around but I loved to feel the music course through me – going through my veins – giving me an electrical charge – it made me feel like I was being hotwired – that I was being recharged and reenergised.  I didn’t just enjoy this – I needed this.  I need this like an addict craved their needle, it sounds strong but it’s true – I get tetchy when I haven’t been to a gig for a while – I have to have music on all the time – to see it, to feel it to be part of it.  My life blood.  The thing that keeps me sane.  When I can’t find the words to explain something you can bet I will find you the right song or the right piece of music to express what I am feeling.  Music takes me back to memories I had long forgotten.  Without music I think I would be dead!!

I look again at the guitarist on stage, he looks so happy, he looks so lost in his music that I am no longer sure if he really was looking at me or not.  I stare at him for a bit longer, he looks so at home on stage, he looks alive.  He looks over and I smile.  Really smile at him this time and he definitely smiles back.

We’ve been together for 6 months now and I still can’t get used to the whole rock star vibe but I still insist on never watching the band from the side of the stage, I always want to be down at the front – watching my man doing his thing.

The chord strikes out for the last note of the night – as it slowly fades away I make my way backstage.

Story time

So I have been super busy – but here is a belated story about thing to do in London wrapped up in a little tale.

I am so tired, too tired, I don’t know if I can go on – this is too much – it’s way too much to ask of one person – I don’t know how anyone could be expected to do this – especially someone in my condition.

I was out Christmas shopping with my best friend and I had heels on for goodness sake.  This girl was a masochist.  This girl was also my best friend.  But come on there were limits.  I had been out for 5 hours now.  One shop after another, after another – then back again and because it was so much fun the first time.

I like to order online – it’s pain free (well, until you get the credit card bill) and it’s devoid of horrible stinky changing rooms, the clothes they send you don’t normally have lipstick smears all down them and when you can’t fit into that size 10 no one but you and your mirror knows.

My friend had it all wrong.  But then she would never not fit into a size 10.

My eyes wondered back to the cake store.  This is why I sometimes didn’t fit into a size 10.

Jolie called my name.  Again.  Apparently she had been screaming my name for some time from the fitting room, needing a second opinion…..why I am not quite sure – it’s not like she bothers to listen to me.  She’ll buy what she wants anyway…..actually it might be nice if she just bought something – 5 hours of shopping and not one shopping bag between us – this was getting beyond pathetic.

When I called Jolie out on this she huffed and threw the dress she was going to put back onto the cashiers counter and glared at me as she handed over her gold card.

‘Happy now’ she snapped.

It was definitely time for cake.

I steered her towards the cake store, stomping and moaning.  Until she saw the window display ‘Oooooooooo…..can I have a lick of yours?’ to anyone else this would sound weird- to me it was usual.  Jolie was a model.  She was gorgeous.  She barely ate.  No one is perfect though ay.

So I sat their stuffing my face whilst she looked at my cream swirl with longing.

I smiled, pastry and cream everywhere.

‘Dawn, you are just gross.’ Laughed my best friend.  She always knew how to make me feel good about myself.

‘I’m done with shopping here, let’s go somewhere more fun.’

I rolled my eyes – I knew she meant more shopping and not to the Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park – I had even tried to convince her all other tube lines were down and that was the only place we could get too, funnily she didn’t fall for it.

She didn’t like my suggestion of the southbank either.  It was followed by a noise and ‘People! Too many people.’ She didn’t care for the german market, the lovely hot chocolate or the roasted brazil nuts, couldn’t care less about the street performers, the only thing that had her swayed was the fairy lights but then she had plenty of those at home.

We tried the ice skating at the national history museum and that ended up with me twisting my ankle and almost calling a halt to the Christmas shopping expedition we were on today.  Jolie of course crashed into the most handsome man and ended up going out for drinks with him that night leaving me to suck on salted liquorice (who, why?) at the Finnish pop up market.

I tried in vain to get her to the London Chocolate Festival but yeah – you remember me saying she’s a model – that went down well.

Then I saw the sign of all signs – The Crick Crack Club’s Festival of Fairy Tales for Grown Ups.  Now how was I going to sell this to Jolie.  Fairy Tales and men rarely went hand in hand, I could say it was a story reading for grown ups but even I wouldn’t go to that and I was the book worm.  Maybe I could sell it on the crack club terms – well she is a model – they do drugs right?

I sighed.  I saw Jolie looking at some shoes.

Stroking some shoes.  A man’s hand.  Hey up this was a bit forward.  Then I saw it was Jimmy.  She could not stay away from this ars…..oh her ex boyfriend.  I had to keep my feelings about him to myself because every time there was a crisis and every time they split up I went to say what I felt but then two minutes later they were madly in love again.  He was a pig and I hated him.  My best friend deserved so much better but she saw something I didn’t – and not just him with no clothes on which thankfully I didn’t ever see, no I never had, no that time I barged into their room not knowing they were together has been erased from my memory, blocked out from the horror.  I saw nothing and that is the story I was sticking too, although maybe it gave me a hint as to why she kept going back to him – but that’s Jolie – rather fickle at times.

I sighed.  Then smiled, now I could go to this Crack Club by myself….oh, that bit didn’t sound so fun…..I quietly crept away.  I looked back at the cake shop.  One more wouldn’t hurt…………..

Throwback thursday

Story time again – a day late again – I am sooooo sorry!

Anyway based on the theme of past, and reminiscing – that’s sort of throwback now isn’t it – anyway – happy reading!

 

Don’t you sometimes wish that the responsibility for your own life could just be taken out of your hands.  That you could just curl up and sleep for a moment and when you open your eyes everything has been sorted out for you ready to just skip off into the sun set.

Even movies don’t work quite like that though do they.

Even movies have hic-cups.  Sometimes the whole damn movie is.

I don’t want to look on my life like that though.  I have no regrets and I will keep it that way.

I believe that things happen for a reason – that people come into your life for a reason – that you have a path sort of set out for you – you are free to fall off that path as often as you choose and you have some choice over which direction you fall off it but every now and then fate/life/nature will lay down the law and ping you back on track again.  If you keep ignoring the signals something drastic will happen to you to make you see – to make you change – or do something to get back on track.

The key to a successful life is probably learning to read those signals and not be so darn stubborn about things.

Funny isn’t it how I choose to ignore those signals yet at the same time I say I want something or someone to take control.

Even down to choosing what milkshake I should have – sometimes it is all too much.

Other times don’t you dare try to tell me what I should have or tell me what I should do.

Sometimes I think it’s when I know what I should do and am scared – it’s when I know that I want someone to make that decision for me so I don’t have to hate myself for it at any point – so if it goes wrong I won’t feel so mad at myself.  But if it’s meant to be then how can I hate myself for it going wrong as the thing that is meant to be will have happened.

If you see something beautiful every day does it stop being beautiful?

Do you forget what you have and take it for granted?
Then when it has all gone away all you are left with are your memories of what once was? The remnants of glitter on your hands.

I feel the urge to blow things up.

That will put the cat amongst the pigeons ay! That will start the ball rolling one way or another or will throw it so high it will knock me out on the way back down – but at least something would be happening.

Am I impatient or just never satisfied?
Do I know what I want or am I actually clueless and how do I find that out?
If I was to see my life through someone else’s eyes, what would I see?
Who would I see myself as?
It would be fun to find out, or interesting at the very least.

Who do you think you would be in someone else’s eyes? Would you like yourself more, or less? Would you cry or be happy, would you learn anything at all?
Would it give you an ego? And is that a bad thing?
For each question I will find you one more.

I feel hollow not heartbroken and I don’t know which is worse. I think I would rather feel the pain and know that I am still alive.

Sometimes something happens and my stomach flips – I miss those butterfly days.

I shout out my words and sometimes a hollow echo comes back, sometimes there is no sound at all.

Or is there sound but you just don’t hear it because the right person isn’t around?

Questions and questions with no answers in sight – or do I know the answer but am afraid to say it out loud?

Am I just having a wobble when really I shouldn’t be worrying at all.

Is this life as we all know it?
Are you saying this is nothing new or unique? It’s just the way it is?
Am I ungrateful or greedy or just honest? Do I deserve more? Do we all?
How do you know when you are truly happy, what do you compare it to? And isn’t happiness a build up of small moments, minute details rather than grand gestures?

I see the sun start to rise and temporarily my head goes numb, all around me the world seems to be lit up like a flame, the most amazing hues of orange and yellow and pink all dancing and swirling around themselves in natures amazing portraits – every few seconds the scene changes, the light gets paler, it turns more pink, the clouds get whiter until it’s just the daylight left and the embers of the sunrise have faded into the background once more.  It’s then I realise I should switch my head from the nonsense channel and back into sleep mode.

All of these questions will be there tomorrow, later on in the day, the next time I can’t sleep – my head swirling with a million and one questions about my life and what I should be doing and if I have made the right decision and if this is the way it should be done and if it even matters about whether or not I know the answers or whether anyone else does because after all isn’t life just one big adventure – we aren’t meant to know the outcome until the very end – it would jade our thinking and we know that what is meant to happen will happen and what will be will be – the right people will gravitate towards you and your life and good things will happen along with the bad – you will smile again no matter what and on that note it really is time to say farewell, goodnight and sweet dreams to you all.

Words of wisdom Wednesday

It’s story time again for you – a tea break tale or whatever you would like to call it, I hope you enjoy:

When you see a sunset do you think of the dying embers of a fire? Do you think of all the things you achieved that day or do you think about all the things you didn’t do? Do you see a sunset as final, depressing, an ending or does it fill you with joy?
I myself prefer sunsets, sunrises seem to imply something else, I can’t explain myself properly – there is something about a sunrise that seems seedy, you either can’t sleep or have been out too late, whereas a sunset is something to behold, to cherish, to make a point of seeking out and enjoying.

A sunset on a beach is one of the most beautiful things in the world to me and somewhere in the world this happens at the end of every day and it happens for free.

Those pure moments of magic, those pure moments of happiness, they are fleeting but they are often and it is those things that build up to make a happy time, or a happy life, or a happy episode.

It’s the little things in life. (How many male ego’s just soared about that one) but it’s true.  The little things touch your heart and make you smile the most.

Unless you are a bitch and then this story is probably not directed at you!

When someone is mega rich and they charter a helicopter to fly you to Paris for a meal (yeah happens all the time…..) but it’s like them spending £5, does is mean as much as the person that has 50 pence to spare but picks you a bunch of wild flowers, runs you a bubble bath and does the housework for you? NO, to me the person with the 50 pence wins hands down every time.  This is why I will never be living in a mansion.  And I am ok with this.

I think there are purer and truer things in life than money and yep hold the front page – money is essential but it’s not that important…..well yes pick me apart on that one – you need a roof over your head and food in your belly but as for trinkets and things – they might be nice but you don’t really need them now do you.  You can drown in your successes if you fall towards excess too much.  If you think that the trinkets and the fast cars are the important bits you are missing out on so much more.

When did you last take the time to notice a star filled night sky or to make a wish on a shooting star? To see a dandelion seed, catch it, make a wish and then let it fly away again? When did you last take a moment to notice the beautiful flower that has come out in bloom or to notice the cute little squirrel playing on the park fence?

When did you last stop and indulge in something you love – whether it be a big slice of cake or your favourite tv show – but to really indulge and not beat yourself up about the calorie count or worry about what you might be missing out on by taking a moment to invest in yourself and to slow down a little bit and to remove yourself from the rat race just for a moment or two.  That vital time of investing in yourself that we seem too quick to dismiss and not make time for or let other things leak in.  Change those ways and make it part of your routine – something as essential as eating and sleeping and breathing is.

Do you ever take the time to notice the sweet things that can happen right in front of your face or that little child that helps an old person pick something up that they have dropped.  The shy smile between two young lovers that are yet to admit their feelings, or the penny someone picked up to make a wish on, or the penny someone dropped so that someone else could feel lucky…………yes I did do that, I read it in a book and thought it was lovely so now and then when I have a moment or the mood takes me, or I feel that the world needs a bit more luck, I scatter my pennies! Deal with it.

Do you stop at all to think, to reflect, to notice that beauty that is all around you? Don’t ignore it – don’t forget it – happiness is not just a tiffany’s box you know!

Happiness is a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream shared with your best friend.

Happiness is that bass beat thumping through your chest when you see your favourite band live.

Happiness is being with your friends and someone produces teacups and a nice bottle of wine.

Happiness is finding £10 in your old coat that you were about to donate.

Happiness is reading a really good book, curled up on the sofa all snug and warm.

Happiness is being out in the woods with the sun trickling through the trees and hearing children playing outside, laughing.

Happiness is seeing your child in their first nativity play.

Happiness is laughing so hard that your tummy ahces.

Happiness is feeling the warm sun on your bare skin for the first time that year.

Happiness is the warm belly of a puppy dog.

Happiness is the smell of freshly baked bread.

Happiness is finding the other end of the rainbow.

Happiness is a kind word or a thoughtful deed from someone unexpected.

Happiness is being appreciated.

Happiness is a sunset marking the end of one day and biding its time for the next – each one a true gift – each one of them a fresh start if you so choose to let it be.

Let it be.

Happiness is everywhere, it is all around you, each and every day.   It doesn’t have to cost a penny; it is all there if you just let it be.

Treat day Tuesday

Well it’s a day late and it’s just a story based around christmas and treats.

I forgot to post it up yesterday!

Forgive me ;op

‘So what treats are in store for us today?” Michelle asked looking longingly at the hot chocolate advert on tv, full of log fires, snow, candy canes, everything a christmas should be, well including lots of presents and some gorgeous man in the kitchen cooking away in just his apron.

Lucy laughed.  She knew what was going through her friends mind, she had been single for 6 months – not that long really but for Michelle this was like eternity.

She would finally have to admit that her ex boyfriend had really meant something to her after all.  Michelle pretended to have the hide of a rhino but really, Lucy knew she was easily hurt, she just hid it well, or rather hid it at the bottom of a bottle and amongst the sheets of a randoms bed.

‘I can’t promise you a tussle under the Christmas tree, if you know what I mean but I can promise you a day filled with Christmassy delight.  We’ve got the fair to go to, then there is the fireworks in the evening and right now I thought we should go and try those new gingerbread men in the bakery down the road.’ Lucy waggled her eyebrows.  Michelle had been lusting over the baker for years, but only now was she single and able to do something about it.

Lucy heard nothing from  Michelle in response and stopped tying up her laces to check her friend was still breathing.

She was.  But very frantically and sobbing and water was coming out of her eyes.  ‘Oh crap’ thought Lucy, Michelle never cried, at least not with company, not even when really drunk.

Lucy ran over to her friend and gave her a bear hug, words weren’t needed, she knew that being single at Christmas was hard.

‘I broke the heel on my new boot!’ wailed Michelle.  So much for heart felt sentiments.  This girl could be bought with anything it would seem.  The only true heartache was not being able to afford the latest Louboutins.

So if Lucy could get the Baker to serve up a pair instead of his usual cakes then she was on to something.  With 5 minutes to arrange it was never going to happen.

Michelle and Lucy sighed together – both lost in their own little worlds.

Lucy snapped out of it and threw a spare pair of boots at her friend, knowing they wouldn’t be quite refined enough but not caring – there was a day of Christmassy things to do waiting for them – getting wasted – heels were not going to stop this from happening – if needs be she’d max out her credit card (even more) and treat her friend to some more boots.  She did a quick mental calculation of how much she had already been spending  on this months pay cheque and rethought her idea….maybe a pair of slippers from Peacocks would do instead ……her new year’s resolution really was going to have to be to get another job….or give up shop….nope she wouldn’t even allow herself to finish the thought.

‘Michelle COME ON!’ she grabbed her friends arm and pulled her away as fast as possible.

They ran out into the street giggling – they had decided to get the bus into town so they could have a drink….or ten as far as Lucy was concerned.

The smell that greeted them as the bus door opened had Lucy reaching for her purse.

‘Taxi…..my treat….’ And she ran off the bus with her arm out waving down each and every car until eventually a cab appeared with its light on.

‘Step on it.’ She yelled once they were both settled in the car.

‘to the shops…..’ she finished, not quite informatively.

The driver rolled his eyes and pulled away from the kurb.

In town they ran about from store to store, cooing and oooing over everything they could find, they stuck their hands in fake snow and pretended to lick the ice sculpture in the department store, with Michelle very nearly getting attached.

They ogled any man with a whiff of expense about him and finally collapsed with a hot chocolate and candy cane.

‘Who needs men when you have your friend, your ex’s store card and hot chocolate!’ without breaking her stride she then purred ‘Well hello!’

Lucy threw her head round and laughed.

She saw her friend flick her hair, adjust her bra all with a quick snap and the most dazzling smile came from her face, a beam of light encircling the said man who turned as though he could feel the beam.

Without saying anything Michelle pouted slightly and looked coyly down at the table.

Lucy had to give it to her friend – she could flirt like no other.

He smiled at the girl at the table – then noticed her friend.  He hesitated.  In that moment of hesitation something unsaid went between the two girls and the one with the dark hair stood up, laughing, grabbed at something on the table and ran.

Lucy had the store card and Michelle could have the man.

Both would be treated nicely.

Lucy pulled out her phone ‘Meet you back at my house at 9pm tonight for all the gossip.  Bring goodies – we will have lots to talk about.xx’

She got a text back 10 minutes later ‘see you tomorrow kiddo. When we will have even more to talk about….so far 9 out of 10.  Don’t wait up ;o)’

Lucy laughed.  She was just wondering what to do with herself when she spotted Mike – her loyal and lovely boyfriend.  In his hands he had a square box covered in shiny red paper.

‘For you my dear, a little pre Christmas treat’.  Lucy giggled, she looked at Mike, she thought about Michelle.  She leant forward and whispered in Mike’s ear.  His eyebrows went up, his smile broadened.  ‘Your wish is my command.’ He muttered taking Lucy’s hand and quickly hailing a cab and asking him to head to their home, promptly. It looked  like they were all going to be treated tonight.