My moods are so…well for want of a better word…..interesting. They really are. Up and down like a bloomin’ yo yo but not in a ‘I need to be sectioned way’ just really, well, maybe I am just ultra aware of my emotions or I loose myself in my head far too often. I think it’s the latter. And I think this is why I have chosen to never live alone. As much as the years I’ve lived have allowed me to start feeling more comfortable with spending some time alone, in fact, I will now say I actually look forward to the odd night alone, it never used to be that way. Growing up my family or a friend would always be around. When I moved out of home I always had somewhere I could go, someone I could talk to. When I moved back home and found things a bit of a bore in my neighbourhood, I dipped into the fanzine world and created my own place, it was a place where there were always people, always gigs, there was always something going on. I moved to London and there was always something to do, somewhere to go. If I ended up in the flat alone I would just turn around and head straight back out and find someone again. I don’t think that’s particularly healthy and it got me known as the girl who never slept.
I am older now – it’s arguable as to whether I am wiser, but I would hope so. I am certainly a lot calmer.
I need peace and quiet sometimes. I am trying to simplify life a little and just appreciate being. It’s not easy when you are in London, or just in the modern world, with so many distractions and so many expectations. I try to take some time to enjoy my surroundings and the sounds of nature and to be grateful for the ‘little things’. I think it’s those little things that can help to keep you sane.
It’s healthy to be able to be alone. You come into the world and you leave it in that way. As you get older I suppose such things you have to face more frequently; people leaving more often than they arrive.
I feel like I have taken a long time to find myself. Along the way people come and go and some stick around. Some you have to ask to leave and some leave when you are not sure if you want them too. It can be surprising who sticks around. As you get older making friends becomes harder – it’s a shame as the more you talk to people the more they are open to meeting new people but just lose the knowledge of how.
Just like dating. After a certain age people seem to find it far harder; which is weird as lets be fair very few lasting relationships are made whilst pissed up in a club somewhere.
As we get older we appear less carefree, we have more commitments, and we have more things going on that ‘need’ to be done rather than things we may ‘want’ to get done.
We slowly start to exist rather than live. We get bogged down by life. We forget its purpose.
I guess it’s because we lose the ability to just go with the flow; to not think about the ’What if’.
When we were little we didn’t even understand the concept of repercussions!
How much more do you think you would do in life if you didn’t ‘What if’?
I think I’d owe my bank manager a lot haha I think I’d be jetting off all over the place; poking my nose into everything.
I don’t because I know I have to be on the ball for my job. I have to pay my rent. I have to look after my health and yadda, yadda but ooo just think if you didn’t have to worry about a thing!
Maybe for a month….if you never had to worry about anything I think that makes you into a spoilt brat – or at least come across that way.
What would you do if you had 24 hours where you didn’t have to worry about consequences?
A lady I know has done an amazing thing – she gave herself a year to cross off as many items on her geek list as possible….Her ‘Big Geek Adventure’. Read more here:
I am SO tempted to do something similar – I’ve always had a living bucket list in the back of my mind and I think I should do something about it.
Watch this space – I need to think more on this one – and that can sometimes be a slow process but if I do take this further I will definitely be calling on all you lovely bloggers for help and hints.
In the meantime try to recapture that lovely way of thinking in your youth – it doesn’t mean you have to be irresponsible, or mean or do bad things or try to something naughty to see if you can get away with it – it’s just see beyond your immediate surroundings, take in all the sights and sounds, try to see as much as you can. Look at the world as though you are trying to find the perfect snapshot to take. Keep living, breath properly. Don’t just exist and stagnate somewhere. Life is a beautiful gift and we should honour and respect that. We should remember we are all made up of stars and that we should allow ourselves some time to shine. It doesn’t matter what you have going on in your life or what you have in your bank account there is always something you can do to put some cheer into your lives and others.
Focus on what you have instead of what you haven’t. Try to see the good in people rather than the bad. If people are bitching about someone – try to be the one to say something positive or to walk away. There is enough negative energy in the world without adding to it. If you have to bitch about people to fit in why would you want to fit in with such crowds anyway? Find the simple pleasures in life again and do away with being trapped in the materialistic visions pushed upon us. Does it really make you feel better in the long term to have spent two months wages on the latest designer coat? Or do you think you would get more out of doing something for charity – making a stranger smile and spending quality time with good friends? Stop being so busy to live life and properly start living again.
The modern world is set up to make us buy, buy, buy. To exhaust us. To make us feel like underdogs always wanting more. It’s the way people get rich….in money terms anyway. Make a point of trying to enrich your life and others with feelings and emotions instead of trinkets and goodies…..unless it’s cake – I am sure there is room for cake in anyone’s life.
Just free yourself from the trappings of modern life.
Take your shoes off and run barefoot through a field or along the beach. Spend an hour watching the waves crash against the beach and watch the beauty of nature. Smile at a child who is so enthusiastic to go the corner store they are skipping saving the world dressed as Spiderman. Lose yourself in a book for a while and don’t worry about the washing up. Forget the house work and go and meet that friend for coffee. Stop worrying about ‘things’.
Be the reason someone smiles when they look back upon the day. Don’t get angry when someone steps into your path, smile at the stranger who is frowning, and wish someone a happy day. Drop a penny on the floor and let a child pick it up thinking their luck is in. Share your joy and not just your gripes. Take a look at your boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend and insist on only seeing their good points for the day.
Live life again, live for today and live it with a smile on your face. Take the time to notice the small things – it’s those things that build up into making you have the perfect day.